The pains of remembering

I believe my eyes knew

me so well yet

it's slipping past me now.

A laugh I once thought was

for a girl like me echoes down

an empty hallway.

A flashing image of the happy 

days with the people I owe

so much to; far too close, near

our spot.

A flashing image that was gone

far too soon.

I ran out of people,

and moments,

and dates,

and conversations to blame.

Since then, I blamed

the day for taking over

the night 

and shining light on everything

that should've stayed

hidden in the dark.

Now here I am, remembering

people and wishing we

had more time to learn every part

of each other.

A hundred poems written 

on anything,

hands,

walls,

desks and the pavement where 

we spent our late nights.

Three hours spent searching

and reading the poems 

that paint every part of a happy 

picture of people, now far away.

A lifetime spent

remembering

and regretting and reading a hundred

poems time & time again.

x

The stitches inside me are

creating a reflection

in my eyes like a code no

one could decipher.

Veins like branches of a tree

on winter; weak and old,

they're dying either way.

She spoke words that kept

him awake through the night,

depriving him of what

he needed the most.

Silk-like skin and sun-bright eyes,

who knows what lies beneath?

A twist in her being

She was a young woman,
poised and flexible.
She had flowers growing in her
rooted being yet she had them
pulled out by everyone around her.
Every night, the sky bled over as
she fidgets, waist-deep in thought of
her twisting sanity.
They believed she was
weird and beautiful. They loved everything
about her but she was blinded
by the lies other people spit in her eyes.
The kind of things that remind
you of the vast  ocean and the cloudy sky.
Her hair that glows magenta in the
sunlight and her angelic, contagious smile.
She wanted to be thought of.
Loved.
But every time people offered her what she
needed, she refused to believe.
Because maybe, she was waiting for her
flowers to grow again.
'Leave me be.' she said.

03-30-14; roads

And I walk on this rough
road, lonely and in need of
someone who could fill the
spaces between my fingers.
The cold wind blows and I
keep walking. Before I realize
it, I've come such a long way,
I'm on the same road. It was
quiet and the skies looked sad
and I couldn't describe myself
any better. I'm not stopping
just yet. There's another road
somewhere. I just have to keep
going. It's gonna be fine.
Hopefully.

Little tracks

Look into my eyes and tell

me how they look alluring

in vibrant ocean blue.

Tell me how you wished

you spent your mornings by

the shore with me, waiting for the

sun to come up and by the time

the horizon is visible, we'll be back 

in bed again.

Look into my eyes and feel 

the vagueness of what your life

has become course through you.

Feel it seep into those tiny

holes in your veins like you want

to disappear in a bubble and when

you've gone the way of all flesh 

you won't care because living isn't

the same without me.

Look into my eyes and think of the

nights we held hands together

in the pale moonlight. Think of when

nobody bothered about us sneaking

out at night, them knowing it was the

only way I'd get through the day.

And you know what's sad?

It's when you close your eyes 

for a while and your mind takes you

to places you don't wanna 

remember anymore and by the

time you open them you realize

that you're not looking at my 

eyes at all. You're looking at an

old photograph of me almost

fading in color because darling, it's been

years since we've gone separate ways.

And you have no clue where

I am.

Cable wires

Locked in conversation

and feeling our beings adhere,

We stood next to each other.

our words meant something far from here

Wires tangled up

in all the things we desire.

We're emotional fighters

left burning in the sun's fire.

City lights glow

as cameras roll

to capture the movements 

of every breaking soul.

3/1/14; Walls

It's sad when you realize that you've built too many walls between you and the people around you. Something about that kind of thought emits a sad aura and you couldn't help but sit and feel everything dying underneath your skin. 

 At one point in your life this was everything you hoped for. Distance from people you think you've become a burden to. But later on you'll realize that you'll always be good enough for somebody and you're not a burden at all... but no matter what you do, your emotions will always be stabbing you in your guts. 

And maybe putting a great distance between you and everyone isn't the only thing walls do. They kill too.