Thursday, February 27, 2014

2/17/14; Windows

Breathe me in,
collide with my mind,
Open your senses,
for it's clarity you will find.

Petunias like damsels,
in crimson dresses from afar.
Dancing to the wind,
hoping to be right where you are.

Silhouettes of trees
as dark as my little dreams,
Waist deep thoughts,
scattered and bursting at the seams.


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Chapters

Somebody sit with me as I
watch all these buildings
burn down just as they sat 
and looked at me lying on
the ground wilted.
It hits me at dawn 
like I'm watching this devastating
wildfire across the street and I just sat
there on the curb watching everything
burn into ashes. The fact that
they listen but never understand
my troubles has become my biggest
trouble yet. It's like I'm in
the midst of the crowd and each
person that passes by me vanishes
in thin air. I'm probably just an
empty cup waiting to be filled
on a cold December night and
in a snap of a finger I was  caught up in a
dream in the meadows watching the sun
shine through the trees as I sit on a rainbow but
it was raining at the same time...
And I'm never aware of that...

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Blurred lines

When I'm in bed and it's
all quiet and the ticks of
the clock and the cold wind
that blows are
my only distractions, I see
faces floating across the room
that I cannot quite remember
but I know for sure we met once
somewhere. It could be an
accidental glance or someone
picking up something you
dropped at a bus stop and right there,
you strike a conversation or
when you sat on a park bench and
someone asked if they could sit beside
you and you had a small talk about
the occurrences lately.
Isn't it amazing how you come across
different people in a short period
of time?
Don't you miss the way you
had your little talks at all these places?
Do you think you'll still see each other
again?
Try to imagine yourself lying in bed
at a care center. You remember all these
faces and places that are starting
to blur in your head and you'll be wondering
where they are right now.
It's beautiful and sad at the same time.
Beautiful in the way you've crossed paths
with these people and sad in the way
that though they play parts as small
as the atoms that make up who you are,
at least they became a part of your journey
and they make you think of the
things you could have done with them
if goodbyes never existed.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Uncertainty

Our inner beings are trapped
inside our rib cages,
unable to get out unless we let them to
but then, we aren't quite sure if we 
want them out because 
we are afraid of risks and
we are afraid to try.
Maybe that's why we feel this
knocking pain in our head down to our rib cages
because our souls have made our
entire body their asylum, making us look
lifeless on the outside and sicker on the inside.
That's the pretty-ugly explanation
of our lives. Risks scare us but
not the things that are
going to be our worst regrets
in the end.
Like a pack of cigarettes,
we are addicted to the 
first inhale, like we are addicted to
the pain it gives us,
leaving us hooked to it
and not knowing that it's killing
every inch of us slowly.
It's like feeding ourselves with every inhale
and killing our inner beings at the same time.
Thinking it won't harm us,
our uncertainty has risen up, making us 
think it's nothing but a stick
we use to feed our souls.
We are able to
see the good in it in our inhales,
craving for it by the minute and craving
for air at the same time.
We do it all over again thinking 
it's gonna be fine but
it's a dirty, dirty liar.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Blinded

But there's something behind
that calmness...
Something that I think of
every now and then.
Something that reminds me
of wildflowers and
the way I've always admired
people with beautiful spines.
Something that takes me back
to places I've been to once
and longed for right when I left.
Something that stirs inside me
when I hear all these little voices
in my head that scream
my imperfections.
Every day, without any warning,
I trip on the good things.
It's like I'm on a deserted alley
and all I could hear is my
heart pumping...

Friday, February 7, 2014

Today

God knows
I have battle scars.
He knows
what goes through
inside me
when nostalgia
catches me in
a wave.
I mean, what does He
not know?
He knows I spit
words I have so much
loathe on like
I'm intoxicated with them.
The fact that I keep
so much to myself has haunted me
since the day I was
stranded in the middle of
nowhere in a storm.
And I realize that
at the end of the day,
all I have is myself & the emptiness
in my rotting soul.
Considering it a permanent mark
inside me,
I get all numb and naive
without a reason why.
Day by day,
I cross out everything I despise
in my head but then,
in disappointment, I thought
to myself: 'if storms were
meant to go away, why does
it keep on lashing on me?'
everything piles up just like
a snowman I'm trying to
make in a blizzard.