Thorns

11:59 pm

Sitting on my bedroom floor,

my lamp was flickering
and I felt empty.

I felt cold
and I was in dire need of
a company.
I was longing for the daylight
because by then,
the morning vibrations will
wash away all the sorrows of tonight.

1:25 am

My lips were twitching

as I flipped through the pages of my journal.

Sudden waves of nostalgia
hit me hard
as every memory started creeping its way
out of me.
And there I was,
bawling my eyes out in despair.
My numbness has kept me alive
through the night.
Dashed hopes and forgotten people,
how bad could this night get...

2:30 am
I have thorns growing inside me
and that's probably why
I hurt each time I break down
because it hurts a lot more inside
and I couldn't get it out
because maybe I deserve it.
I deserve all these things
that create walls between me
and happiness
and all these people
that interfere with my life.
It pains me, I tell you.

3:00
Silence.
All I could hear is the sound of crickets
and cicadas
and the branches of the tree
that knocked on my bedroom window.
I sat on my bed.
For a minute I've drowned
myself in a sea of nothing
but hopelessness.
I screamed for help
but all there was were echoes
of the waves
and whispers telling me how
a huge burden I've become to everyone.
And maybe I was.
And I'm sorry.